This is it! My first blog post. Deciding on post content is kinda hard. Do I stick to sharing objective information, or do I get personal? How personal is too personal? Will readers want to read what I want to write? Either way, I’m scooching myself out on a limb, here. After thinking a bit, I thought it appropriate to begin my blog with a post that takes us back in my story to where it all began….
For me, this is a year of new beginnings for a life that I’ve never found boring. There is so much I’m looking forward to! There will be lots of fun stuff like cooking and eating (yay!), evening walks with the hubby, visiting with friends and family, reading, writing, and when time allows, crocheting. Of course, this technically challenged gal is also looking forward to tackling all things blogging too!
There’s also stuff I’m NOT looking forward to…
This is also another year of sickness. There will be many doctors’ appointments with special prayers for each one, diet changes to adapt to my ever-changing list of allergies, daily tasks to manage without getting exhausted, and the challenge to never lose hope that some day I WILL be well again. Can any of you relate to these ups and downs?
I wasn’t always sick, you know. I used to be an athlete, church youth leader and world traveler. As a missionary overseas I saw God do the miraculous and impossible around me. The work was challenging, but God always gave me enough energy–so no worries! Then one year I hit a brick wall. I couldn’t sleep, think or calm down. Eating became more difficult and walking was hard too. I was always dizzy and in pain. After a few months of that, I finally admitted it was time to leave and rest for a few months (or so I thought). When a couple of years went by with no hope of my return, friends abroad packed up my apartment and sent me what could fit in a couple suitcases. A year and a half after that, I’m still resting.
During the painful and heartbreaking fall into Chronic Fatigue, a verse from the Bible stood out to me. It was actually so significant that I put it in my Facebook background pic for my first couple years of sickness. The whole chapter (Isaiah 43) is very uplifting, but I’ll share just this.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert. ~ Isaiah 43:19 ESV
I definitely felt like I was languishing in a desert, and for sure my life was going through “a new thing”. Would everything be ok? What am I supposed to do? Why me? This verse reminds me that though we can have dry seasons when life is a WILDerness, and we’re running on empty, God will lead us through. He will make a way.
Though it’s easier said than done, I’m going to continue looking ahead to the promise that God is making a way. Remember in Drivers Ed when the instructor kept telling you to look ahead and not just at the car in front of you? This helps keep you from wobbling around in your lane, and to make sure you don’t miss the bigger picture.
So, friends, when you are too weak to carry that watermelon and it drops and explodes watermelon guts all over (and you leave it for your husband to clean up because you “can’t take it anymore”…oops), or when your body hurts so much you find yourself waddling around hunched over with your arms tucked in the fetal position, or when you are out with friends and the only thing safe to eat on the menu is salad *No cheese, please…no croutons…and hold the dressing. Yup, I just want a wad of lettuce, thanks* or maybe just water (for real!), or when you are too tired to think so you tune out hoping to catch the gist of a conversation at the tail end while still appearing “all there”. It’s OK. God is making a way.
Maybe your days make those moments look like a walk in the park. Maybe you get panic attacks just from going to sleep and waking up, or you have amnesia, or you can’t drive anymore because you black out, or sound and light overwhelm you, or you live with anxiety and depression. You are not alone. Let’s go easy on ourselves this year and look ahead to the bigger picture, OK? God is doing A New Thing in us. Every day is a new day, and one more step closer to recovery. Don’t give up! God has a beautiful plan. Let’s live in hope and share this hope with others suffering from burnout and fatigue.